Archive for April, 2011


This is not about dogs.
This is about Death and Dying.
If you know me a bit, I must have spoken to you about the importance of the ManKindProject in my life. If you do not know MKP, click on the link on the right hand side of this website.

One of my MKP-Brothers was told three months ago, he had three months to go. Since then he is fighting his battles with cancer and he is still amongst us.
The letter I received today offered me one of the most important teachings of my life. His message is so frighteningly beautiful, so full of vigour and life, so full of brotherly love that I am offering you the possibility to read it.
My Brother is not asking for help. I am asking.
I am asking you to financially support him in the funding of his very expensive treatment. If you are willing to do that, get in touch with me.

Read his letter NOW.

Men, I confess that when I started to read the beautiful piece that was put out, I felt some anger.

We talk so eloquently about ‘death’ most of us. And why not? Most of us, I’m glad to say, have had enough of Life to see and feel, to KNOW, the Beauty of it. The sheer Splendour.

Some of us are lucky enough to have a personal relationship with ‘that within us all’, that which Created us, that which sustains us. That part of us, that inside of us that IS, WAS, and ALWAYS WILL BE.

So of course we’re not afraid of death. How can it be ‘bad’, when something so beautiful, so loving, so magnificently powerful, strong and tender created us with such genius, and death is something that happens to all of us?

So, sure, I’m not afraid of death.





Now that’s another matter. In our insulated from the real world plastic life of modern times, what do we Warriors know of dying? These days we fight our battles on a carpet, and the word ‘SAFETY’ is always there at the ready. I’m not belittling the battles we fight. In many ways they are harder and tougher than those of our forebears. And for sure they require courage in large measure. But.

Not many generations ago we fought our battles out in the open, in fields. Our battles STANK. They stank of blood, gore and guts. Blood, piss and shit. And the noise afterwards was that of screaming and moaning. Men, grown men, screaming for their mothers as they tried in disbelief to put their guts back in to their stomachs.

Death, that which happens AFTER WE DIE, IS ONE THING. Gibran, a true Master and Devotee, wrote, “And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?” See attachment for something truly beautiful and profound on the subject.

I am not afraid of death, but I AM afraid of dying.


Dying early, with so much left to do.

Pain, unbelievable pain, for hours and hours. Drugged up consciousness, a lack of clarity. How can I meditate on that beauty within when I’M SCREAMING MY FUCKING HEAD OFF?

So much left to do, so many opportunities lost.

The loss of independance. Watching others around me doing things ‘on my behalf’ that I don’t want doing, and I cannot raise the strength to let my will be known. Dependency. Vulnerability.

And the not knowing. How much will it hurt? How long for?

Will I see these new leaves, so beautiful in this spring I was told three months ago I would never see….. will I see them turn to brown and fall on the ground? Will I see next spring?

And I read so much bullshit about ‘a better place’. Jesus Christ said, so I’m told, “The Kingdom of Heaven is HERE and NOW. It is inside of you and I.” And such is my experience, I am glad to say.

You and I KNOW that there is Hell here on earth. And Heaven. “Thy will be done on Earth, as it is in Heaven” SEE? EARTH IS IN HEAVEN. We can be there now. We DO NOT HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL WE DIE TO GET THERE!!

An Indian Saint, Saint Tulsidas, spoke eloquently of the days in which you and I now live. The Kali Yuga, I believe it’s called. “May you live in interesting times, the Chinese say. Tulsidas said, in this time, THE ANGELS THEMSELVES WILL BE QUEUEING UP FOR HUMAN BODIES”

MEN. BROTHERS. NOW is the time to live. To feel with YOUR SKIN the things you love. The dew on the morning grass with your bare feet. The texture of the hair of the dog by your side. The warmth of the sun on your skin. The unbelievable feeling of the breasts of the woman you love, who loves you, and holds you in her feminine Goddess Majesty.

Dying. Losing independence. Being in Pain. And Doubt.

These are things to fear, believe you me.

Time I stopped writing/ranting and got on with my BATTLE TO LIVE!

An Aloe enema, I think, before bed, to try to deal with this gut pain that’s been bugging me since I woke up at fiveish this afternoon. The pain caused by the cancer cells I’ve been happily (and expensively!) murdering with mega doses of Vitamin C (50-100g at a time….)

So time to rid myself of some poison, get to bed (with my loving woman beside me!! Yay Hay!!) and get through another night of sweating out buckets of toxin, getting through three of four soaking tee shirts, to wake in the early hours, pain wracked, and drink a couple of pints of water, take twenty odd pills, have another enema, have a few hours of liberation, of joy, of happiness, of splendour. Of music. Of sunshine, maybe. Of Prayer. And for sure of LOVING. And wait…the Tiger will again stir. Someone said, “so you have good days and bad days, do you , Al?” “No,” I answered . “I get a good few hours, then a bad few hours. Days? The Tiger’s never that steady, that predictable.”

But hey! Riding this bugger is sure BEING ALIVE! Can be a real thrill, sometimes… And I never forget that life is precious. That love is all.

So I leave you, In Joy. Excitement. Having started in anger, fear, and sorrow. How I do love free expression,

Time to say good night to you all,

Your lovin’ Brother

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Having walked for many years with dog caring people I have some thoughts.

1. When I see a person walking a dog on a tense lead in the country side, while the dog is showing me a head held high, a chest thrust forward, tail held high, eyes tensely focused and hackles up, I read that trouble is possible. I read that this dog is in charge, not the owner; this dog does not accept the protection of the human and does not show respect. Most people call such a dog “an agressive dog”.
This is a mistake.
I call it a DEFENSIVE dog. He knows he has to defend the pack, as the human holding the tense lead is not doing this.
My question is: Why are so many dog caring persons walking in the country side, with their dogs on a tense lead, allowing the dogs to pull them along?
If your dog is pulling (s)he is in charge. NOT YOU.
If you want to learn how to walk your dog on a slack lead, believe me, I can teach you.

2. Throwing a toy (it can be a plastic bottle) and expecting your dog to retrieve it, is a very rewarding exercise for both dog carer and dog. But, it can be dangerous if other dogs are present. Toys do not exist in nature because in nature dogs are never be bored.
What we call a toy is a PREY for a dog. Dominant dogs will protect their prey and this can lead to incidents if another dog wants to go for the same prey.
If you want to learn how to do retrieve exercises with your dog, believe me, I can teach you.

3. Many times people tell me they had to walk back because they had “lost”(?) a dog. This is a human interpretation. The dog was not lost.
A canine never gets lost in a natural pack.
According to me the “lost”(?) dog thinks the human got lost.
A dog does not stay with you, when you do not have developed the perfect team spirit of a natural pack. If you constantly pay more attention to the dog than the dog pays attention to you, then you are in trouble. If that is the case, you are not in charge. Your dog is. If the dog accepts and respects you as her/his pack leader, (s)he will not run away.
If you want to learn how to take charge of your pack, believe me, I can teach you.

4. Most people are surprised when I can leave my dogs alone for quite a while.
If you have not trained your dog to do long stays while other dogs are around, dogs will do everything that is possible to get to you.
Do not think that is because these dogs love you so much.
That is the human way of thinking.
They want to be close to you because they consider you to be their submissive pups. They think they have to look after you.
Only when they trust you as their pack leader will they be able to do long stays.
If you want to learn that, believe me, I can teach you.

5. Offering food to a dog during or after the walk has to be avoided.
Do not reduce yourself to the position of a food dispenser. In nature a pack leader does not do this. Whatever happens in nature has to be our guideline. Mother Nature never makes mistakes.
Offering food to your dog during or after a walk (when having a drink) has already caused fights during my Sunday morning walks. Dominant dogs will protect their prey and food is prey. Dominant dogs might even protect their water bowl, if they feel that YOU are not offering that protection.
If you want to learn more about the canine way of thinking, believe me, I can teach you.

6. Walking your dog means that YOU are responsible for your dog. Not the people you meet.
The absolute minimum you need while walking are commands like COME, SIT, STAY, DOWN, RUN (as a release command).
If you want to learn how to do that, believe me, I can teach you.

7. If you pick up the poo of your dog with a plactic bag that is excellent.
If you want to learn how to do that, believe me, I can teach you.

I am sending you and your dog love and light.


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