Archive for June, 2011

Some authors like Karen Armstrong (in The Bible. The Biography) write about how humans are meaning-seeking creatures. Yes, as far as I am concerned I think I am a meaning-seeking human being. Looking for what is the meaning or the purpose of my life is a fascinating process? What is my life’s mission on this planet? During my MKP (ManKindProject) training I was invited to formulate my life’s mission. Out came: I create a world of abundance by learning and teaching.
So, yes, very often I am thinking about the meaning of my life?
Are you?
Some authors write about the fact that unless we find some pattern of significance in our lives, we fall very easily into despair. Look at the fast rising consumption of tranquilizers, sleeping pills and anti-depressants in the Western World and it is clear for me that hundreds of millions of fellow human beings are nowhere near finding a meaning in their lives. Many of these people living in despair have dogs. Dogs are willing to be the healers of their owners in spite of what the humans do to them.
In the quest for a meaning in our lives Language plays an important part. It is not only a vital means of communication for us, but it helps us to articulate and clarify the turbulence of our inner world. We use words when we want to make something happen outside ourselves: we give an order or make a request and, one way or the other, everything around us changes, however infinitesimally. But when we speak we also get something back: simply putting an idea into words can give it a lustre and appeal it did not have before. Language is mysterious. When a word is spoken, the ethereal is made flesh; speech requires incarnation – respiration, muscle control, tongue and teeth. Language is a complex code, ruled by deep laws that combine to form a coherent system that is imperceptible to the speaker, unless he or she is a trained linguist. But language has an inherent inadequacy. There is always something left unsaid; something that remains inexpressible. Our speech makes us conscious of the transcendence that characterizes human experience.
All this affects the way we communicate with each other.
You are now reading what I have written. It means that we are communicating with each other be it indirectly.
As I have been writing articles for more than 40 years I often find that I can express myself more clearly with written words than with spoken words.
When I develop my thoughts while writing I can delete and change what was written as many times as I want.
When I speak, I cannot do that. Speaking I constantly have to make an effort to be as clear as possible in the present moment. Words are extremely important for a writer and for a speaker.
But there is a difference. When you read what I have written you cannot see my body language. When we meet and speak to each other, you can read my body language. It is my assumption that most of us have never learned how to read body language or if they can read it they neglect its significance, because we have been taught that WORDS are of the utmost importance.
Let’s now look at a newly born puppy.
This puppy is blind and deaf but can nevertheless immediately find mother’s belly and teats. The puppy can do this because it can SMELL the mother and FEEL her calm assertive energy. After two weeks the puppy will be able to SEE and only after three weeks will (s)he be able to HEAR.
Let me repeat what the order of importance is in the puppy’s world: SMELL, FEEL, SEE, HEAR.
Now what do most dog owners do with a pup?
They TALK to or even YELL at her/him and are surprised when this “bad” dog does not understand the words they are using.
This is the cause of the classic misunderstanding between dog owners and their pets.
It reminds me of a scene I witnessed many years ago in the restaurant of the club nautico in Moraira (Spain) where an English person was yelling the word FISH at a Spanish waiter. The tourist obviously thought that the louder he yelled the better it would be.
The waiter felt obviously very uncomfortable and the English tourist got more and more angry.
Back home the tourist, I imagine must have told a story about a “bad” waiter who did not understand him although he was clearly using the word FISH for what he wanted to eat.
Can you make the comparison between this tourist and the waiter on the one hand and a yelling dog owner and a pup on the other? What kind of a dog owner are you?
Do you prefer to TALK and YELL at your dog or do you read her/his body language, offer her/his your leadership and calm assertive energy?


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